Avoiding the festive strains that drown out Rudolph

The festive season, often portrayed as a time of joy and togetherness, can be fraught with stress for many couples. Financial pressures, heightened expectations, and the intensity of prolonged family interactions can place already fragile relationships under considerable strain.

As a result, January has earned a reputation as “divorce month,” because of the surge in requests to solicitors for support in moving forward with separation and divorce.

But divorce doesn’t have to be difficult: that’s the message from family lawyers who are working with couples navigating the process of separation.  The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act  - which introduced so-called ‘no fault’ divorce - came into force in April 2022 with the aim of reducing conflict and promoting amicable resolutions.  It introduced significant reforms to the process with the aim of stopping the blame game and encouraging cooperation, particularly in reaching a financial settlement.

Under the new rules, ‘fault’ grounds such as adultery or unreasonable behaviour have been replaced with a simpler application process. According to Richard Salvidge, family law expert, this change has had a positive impact. “By eliminating the need for one party to attribute blame, the starting point for couples can be steered more towards a focus on practical solutions rather than emotional disputes.  Achieving this mindset and approach can make a huge difference, particularly when there are children or shared finances to consider.”

But the process is not without its challenges. Divorce now takes a minimum of 26 weeks, a timeframe that can extend significantly when financial arrangements or childcare agreements are contested. For many, this period can feel daunting, but Richard stresses the importance of seeking professional advice. “Even in amicable cases, having legal guidance ensures that financial settlements are fair and protect the interests of both parties and safeguard the future for any young children. This can prevent disputes from escalating later.”

Statistics show that nearly 40% of divorcing couples go to court without legal representation. While it might seem like a cost-saving measure, Richard warns that this can lead to inequitable outcomes and prolonged disputes. “For those struggling with the emotional strain of separation, investing in professional support can be a game-changer. It’s not just about understanding your rights but also having someone to speak up for you, which can significantly reduce stress and help to reach a fair agreement more quickly.”

A crucial, yet sometimes overlooked, aspect of the process is ensuring financial agreements are formalised through a legally binding consent order before the divorce is finalised, which requires a separate legal process to the divorce itself.  This involves a lawyer drawing up an agreement about how financial assets will be divided between the couple. It can include arrangements for property, savings, investments, pensions, and ongoing financial support such as maintenance payments.

Once submitted to the court and approved by a judge, the consent order becomes legally binding and as Richard explains: “It’s great if you can reach an agreement together, but it’s vital to have this formalised in a consent order as verbal or informal agreements carry no legal weight.   

“Without a financial consent order in place, there is no legal closure to financial claims between you and your former spouse. This means that even years after a divorce, one party could potentially bring a financial claim against the other.  The process for the consent order also helps ensure fairness in the arrangements as the judge will check it’s reasonable for both sides before granting the order.”

Separately, child maintenance arrangements ensure the financial needs of children are met over time. While these agreements can be included in a financial consent order, they are often handled separately as they remain subject to modification, even when included.

As the festive season concludes, January may bring difficult decisions for many couples. However, with the right support and a focus on cooperation, the journey through divorce doesn’t have to be combative.

“If you have decided that, sadly, this Christmas will be the end of the road for your relationship then going forward with a commitment to mutual respect can make a significant difference, especially when children are involved,” added Richard. “Try to use the time by planning ahead and thinking about the practicalities: how will assets be divided? What arrangements need to be made for any children? If you can discuss these things with each other amicably and without pressure, then the clearer your agreements, the smoother the process will be.  If there’s any question of pressure from your partner, then use the time to prepare yourself ready for when you have a professional who can stand up for you.”