The return of tongue in cheek legal blog

This blog has been quiet for many months sadly. The marketing department monsters said I could not write something every week and the blighters have been proved right. That’s another lunch I owe them.  My last edition was September. Is it because I am some sort of legal hedgehog who hibernates in the office, next to the radiator? Someone who appears only when the snowdrops come out and the 5pm staff bolt for the office door is done when it’s still light rather than pitch black? Alas no – my brother in law (only 57) died after a brief illness in November. Trying to be chirpy and upbeat in such times has proved really difficult. But like a Harper Lee novel or a Quentin Tarrantino film this rare blog is back and here we go with some stuff and nonsense.

It’s that time of year where the probate department is decidedly chipper. I have had to deal with them more than I would ideally like recently but it’s their favourite time of the year and they just can’t hide it. Commercial lawyers like the tax year end, conveyancers the spring buying rush but for the probate department the winter is their reliably busy time. There’s nothing they like better than a really cold snap or a reports of a flu epidemic. HMRC will be rubbing their hands too at the collection of record amounts of inheritance tax.  “Every cloud” they say with a glint in their eye and a spring in their step, these grim reapers. It’s as much as we could do to stop them putting up bunting during covid. 

To be fair that’s what the law is about – to an extent we are all dealers in misery. Marriage broken down? “Yippee” says the matrimonial lawyer, hoping it’s going to be acrimonious. Tripped over and hurt yourself? “Great” says the ambulance chasing personal injury department. Owed money? Roll up to the smiling litigator who needs a break from evicting tenants on behalf of his landlord clients. These lawyers must get a sense of achievement in results for their clients but blimey there’s a lot of heartache to deal with on a daily basis. In the next life I am going to come back as a Greggs shop assistant or, in my dreams, a World Cup winning England footballer, to spread joy every day not misery.

At least there’s been no snow so far this winter. My wife has always nicknamed me “the snow grump” even though I actually love the stuff. At the first flurry of snow during a working day, office based staff start looking hopefully out of the window. I snarl. Then there’s talk of it “being really bad in Canterbury” 12 miles up the road. Humpf.  “Schools are closing now” as the flurries continue. The hope is that the office will be closed and everyone gets to go home early. Hopes are dashed when snow turns to rain and being home for hot chocs in front of Countdown is off the agenda.

I still remember the astonished look on a receptionist’s face about 25 years ago. She rang to say her village was cut off in the snow and she couldn’t make it in. This pre-dated home working. Simon Franklin took the call, and desperate to open the office, he drove his Shogun out to her village and picked her up 20 minutes later. To say she didn’t seem best pleased is an understatement. 6 hours later he dropped her back when we closed early. Door to door service. She didn’t leave a tip.

PS The blog is still deciding its preferred sponsor. It’s a tricky business deciding between county lines suppliers and search companies but this week I am giving a shout out (and free publicity) to a podcast called Sound Advice. It’s predominantly about advice for people in the music industry but in fairness the guests give fantastic perspectives on, social media strategy, recycled merchandise and great marketing tips. Full disclosure it’s my son Olly running it but it’s taught me some useful stuff for sure. Subscribe to Sound Advice now!